I’m a Neurotic Nut, but You’re Crazy
So another author Googled themselves and came across this blog, a festering boil of hate and bitterness nestled within the Internet’s sweaty, unshaven armpit. There is quite literally no other way to find this blog. I don’t advertise and I’m not a member of some blogging clique. The blog itself is a writing experiment that serves as both exercise and an outlet for someone who probably should be in therapy but hey, video games.
And still they come because authors, particularly of the fan fiction persuasion, have nothing better to do than to search for themselves hoping for just a bit of vindication and recognition. After all, if they’re popular on the Internet then screw the outside world. I get that, I really do. I also get how one could mistake this obscure little blog as an honest-to-goodness resource for game-related reviews and critiques because I do talk about games an awful darn lot and use key industry words such as graphics, sound, and Nintendo. What I don’t get is how someone can be offended because I wanted to play Otomedius Excellent instead of Skyrim.
Demented Insane Spirit, who you may remember was the wordsmith behind the meandering Yu-Gi-Oh! fan fiction I was assaulted by a while back, felt utterly betrayed by my choice of games and took what I had to say about Skyrim quite personally. For those of you who don’t remember (or are simply too lazy to read the very first damn line in the entry below this one), it was:
I played Skyrim recently and, discovering that it’s really nothing more than Fallout 3 but with dragons and fruity renaissance speech, replaced it with Otomedius Excellent.
Of course Skyrim is more than Fallout 3 with dragons and fruity renaissance speech. That I would write it off as such and replace it with Otomedius Excellent seems absurd! If only Demented Insane Spirit had continued to read the entry to see where I was going with this she might have relaxed a bit. Staying true to typical Internet behavior, she quickly shot off an angry comment calling into question my mental health and worse, my skills as a gamer.
The fact that you would replace Skyrim for a boring, same-as-always shooter game has made it apparent that a) you’re not really a ‘good’ gamer, you just want to blow things up and b) the fact that you’re willing to critique so many people just for the fun of it is proof that you have some severe issues you probably ought to work out.
The quotations marks around good make it seem like she is being sarcastic which would make sense seeing as how she restates the obvious: I just want to blow things up and I am willing to critique complete strangers for the fun of it. And that I have some severe mental issues.
Why do I say this? Well, for one, majority says that Skyrim truly is an amazing game (and got on the least of GOTY by Giant Bomb, along with other gaming websites), so why you wouldn’t be able to enjoy a game with such an extensive world is beyond me.
I’ve made my feelings on video game journalism quite clear: video game journalism is a joke. Saying that Game Website A loves the game so I should, too, is like arguing your point using the Bible during a scientific debate. Also, it should be known that Giant Bomb gave the Game of the Year title to Mass Effect 2, Uncharted 2, and Grand Theft Auto IV, so there goes her argument out the fucking window.
Okay, so I don’t follow the majority. Size matters, though right? Surely the immense scope of the game deserves my attention and gratitude. It’s a sandbox game built around the dullest fantasy lore outside of EverQuest. I have nothing against sandbox games, really. The create-your-own-fun genre can be incredibly addicting given the right circumstances (unemployment, for example), but what I wanted at that very moment was just to play a god damn video game. I didn’t want to sit through a tutorial or wander around an enormous virtual wilderness. No saving, no item gathering, no crafting, no NPCs boring me with overly written dialogue options. I wanted to play something.
This concept clearly left Insane Demented Spirit confused and frightened.
Further, the graphics were also amazing, which is one of the reasons so many people were impressed by it.
Out of nowhere she launches into a review of Skyrim pointing out that, indeed, the graphics are amazing. Mind you, this in response to a blog entry about Otomedius Excellent which refers to the graphics as “horrendous.” I’m pretty sure I also use phrases like “amateurish” and “like a good Dreamcast game.” Graphics only go so far and, while technically impressive, Skyrim’s world is wholly unimaginative and features boring character designs. The same could be said for Otomedius but, and I can’t stress this enough, I’m not comparing the two games. I just wanted to play one over the other at that very moment.
Still, Insane Demented Spirit presses on, now insistent on making excuses for the game’s flaws.
The story was lacking, obviously, but I don’t really think that was their focus anyway. There were some glitches, but that’s not surprising given how HUGE the game was and how many hours the average person would have to put into it.
I didn’t bring this up and I’m not entirely sure why Insane Demented Spirit brought it up. It’s like she was so upset over her misperceived notion that I was attacking what it apparently her “most favortist game ever lol” that the logic damming her emotions just exploded, allowing the waters of non sequitur rant to flood her keyboard. Jesus, metaphors.
As for the second part, you have a freaking website pretty much devoted to bashing people. I think perhaps you should get off the internet and gain some social skills so you’re not so rude to people…
This from someone named Insane Demented Spirit who also happens to write Yu-Gi-Oh! fan fiction.
The hilarity of this little experience is that Insane Demented Spirit was almost apologetic about her fan fiction. Making an inoffensive and frivolous aside to Skyrim took things too far. Now it’s less about someone critiquing her work, but someone who disagrees with her opinion on a video game and that is just wrongwrongwrongihateyousomucharrrrg!
I’ll make a deal with you, Insane Demented Spirit. I’ll practice my social skills if you please, please practice reading comprehension.